What is the use of a blog?

I have discovered that many people use blogs to express their anger/disappointment/sadness or other emotion towards something or someone. Emotionally upset people tend to update their blogs very often, presumably using it as a public diary to gain affection and pity from the readers. Or maybe they see the blog as some kind of Internet shrink.

Personally, I try to avoid writing a blog entry when I am angry or sad, and usually only update my blog when I have good news or a happy story to share with the (however few) readers of my blog.

I’ve heard many people complain about the use of Facebook as a place to complain and moan about one’s misery. I fully support the people who are against this. I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I’m really not interested in hearing all about your family problems or boy trouble or whatever it is that bothers you. I must admit that I do post status updates that are not always rosy and happy (because believe it or not, bad things do happen to me!), but whenever I post a status containing something bad, I always make a joke out of it or under/over-exaggerate to take away the seriousness; I’ve found that this also helps me to deal with the problem, whatever it may be.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve struggled with a rental company, trying to get out of a contract which I signed based on a misunderstanding. They are refusing to let me out of it and are threatening to take it to the Disputes Tribunal, and I may end up being liable for all the money I already owe them according to the contract, which is going to make me completely broke for the next decade or so.

This problem is the reason why I haven’t updated my blog for a while. I was sure that if I tried to write something when I was in the midst of discussions with lawyers, the company etc, the entire entry would express murderous rage and depression and hopelessness, and that is not something I want people to read on my blog. There have been happy moments in my life lately as well, but these would have been overshadowed by a looming mountain of desperation, so I decided to avoid my blog altogether.

You are more than welcome to say that I shouldn’t have written this blog entry, because it does, after all, focus on my legal trouble. But you should have seen me a week ago – trust me, I’ve come a long way since then. The old cynic in me even made a guest appearance for some time, and I felt that the entire world was against me and that people were out to get me for goodness knows what reason. You can relax, though, I got over it. Whatever happens next, happens, and I can’t stop it. What’s done is done, and there’s no way I can change the past, so I’ll keep looking forward. Even if the worst were to happen; that I have to pay the rental company (which would probably add up to be about $5500), the consequence would probably be that I had to leave the country due to lack of funds – but I would just go back home, save up more money, and try again in a year or two. Yes, I would be devastated – obviously - but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

This whole ordeal has really put me to the test, though. It has shown me that I can manage on my own (with support from friends) through hard times. I’ve grown so much as a person during these last two weeks. At first I was ready to buckle under the heavy pressure that the rental company put on me to pay, but I knew that something wasn’t right about the way the signing of the contract had been done, so I sought legal aid. They agreed with me and also told me that the rental company is a real bitch to deal with, as they’d had dealings with them in the past, but I assured them that I’m not going to give in – that I’m going to stand my ground.

So this shows how I think a blog should be used. Not as a space for crying over spilt milk or the hardships of life, but as a place where people can find motivation and learn to appreciate the simple things in life, even if it is through reading about the trouble-filled lives of others.

Even if I spend the rest of my life turning over grey stones looking for gold – without ever finding any – I’m not going to let it shine through here.

The people have spoken… We won.

Changing my secondary plan of staying at home tonight is one of the best decisions I’ve made in a very long time.

The All Whites, New Zealand’s national football team, played their first match in the FIFA World Cup at 11.30pm today, and I did not want to miss it. So my initial plan was to go to a pub to watch it, albeit I didn’t really want to go by myself, but I decided that if it was necessary, I would. However, due to a terribly hard day (with an early exam and some flat trouble), I didn’t feel like socialising or drinking, so I thought I’d just stay at home and find a website that had live streaming of the match.

After dinner I felt much better, though, and decided I’d go to the pub after all. A bit nervous, I left my flat just before 11pm and walked into town. As I entered the pub that was my first choice (Four Kings), I was shocked to find it already packed with supporters, some even had facepaint to show their support. I stood awkwardly by a wall and stared at the screens over the heads of other people (I guess that’s one good thing about being tall, eh?), trying not to get in anyone’s way.

There was a generally loud round of applause as the All Whites entered the pitch and the New Zealand national anthem started playing.

And just for the record – whoever says I’m not really a Kiwi, who do you think you are? You don’t know me. If you had felt 1% of what I felt when I stood there in that pub, you wouldn’t doubt me, you wouldn’t even be doubting yourself. My heart swelled with pride, so much it was painful, and I felt a desire to get up on a chair and sing along with the national anthem (which, thankfully, I didn’t).

There was an excellent atmosphere in the pub (note to self: future All Blacks games will be watched from there). The All Whites started out really well, which made people really enthusiastic about the game.

One of the things I was impressed to discover was that the people actually understood the rules of football. Not do I know when this became common knowledge in NZ, as football has always been a minor sport here, while rugby has been the area of knowledge for the common man.

As the match progressed, and the All Whites lost control of the game, some people became more subdued and some simply left. Traitors. Others (myself included) remained behind to support the guys to the end.

When about 10 minutes remained of the match I decided I’d better cross my fingers for luck, because I had a feeling that they could still make it a draw. So for the last 10 minutes or so I tried to keep them crossed – and they did get closer to scoring a goal – but every time they almost scored I forgot about keeping my fingers crossed in the frenzy that followed. After a minute or two I’d realise that I’d stopped keeping them crossed, so I’d do it again, and they would get closer to scoring again. So in the last (additional) three minutes, I kept reminding myself not to slip up, because we couldn’t afford it. So I kept them tightly crossed, and whaddayaknow – in the very last minute of the match the All Whites scored a goal!

(Now I finally know why my luck has left me – I seem to be giving it away in such kindly gestures as that.)

When the All Whites scored the final goal, it was like a bomb went off inside the pub. The entire room exploded – security guards, avid supporters, bartenders alike – everyone cheered as if New Zealand had just won the World Cup. (It is fair to mention here that the last time NZ qualified for the World Cup was in 1982.) Everyone missed out on what was said during the last few seconds of the game, but it didn’t matter – people were hugging strangers, cheering, jumping up and down and celebrating all over. When we vaguely discerned a whistle being blown and the referee put his arms up, the place erupted all over again. Wild applause and chants ensued for some time. Then people eventually started filing out, and as I exited I heard Dave Dobbyn’s song ‘Loyal’ being played over the loudspeakers from the upstairs pub and into the dark night outside, where people were standing in little crowds, discussing the game and smiling and nodding at friends and strangers alike.

As I started making my way home, I heard and saw cars tooting and hooting; people were shouting and cheering everywhere, there was a mile-long queue at McDonald’s, and there was a general feeling of festivity in the air, as if it was New Year’s Eve or a similar event (I heard on Twitter that somebody fired up some fireworks in Brooklyn – a suburb – which pretty much sums it all up).

I had to walk all the way back to my apartment, but due to my elated mood that wasn’t a problem, and as I was waiting to cross the road at some lights there was a taxi waiting for a green light just in front of me, and there I was, grinning broadly (and stupidly) all by myself, and when the taxi drove past me the taxi driver smiled and waved at me – totally made my night even better.

As of now, it’s almost 3am (yes, that’s three o’clock in the morning for those of you who may not be used to the whole am/pm thing yet), and I’m extremely tired (ah, yes, I mentioned that I had an exam this morning), but I feel too happy to go to sleep just yet.

Tonight, NZ was one, its people was one, and we all seemed to agree on one thing: We won. Maybe not in hard numbers in the football game, but in our hearts and in our minds, we achieved so much more than that. I think this showed that New Zealand has finally discovered the beauty and the passion of football, and I’ll be damned to say it was about time.

We are one

 

We are not heroes

We are a team

We are one nation

That shares a dream

And with pride in our blood

We will succeed

Because we are team New Zealand

We will fight until the end

We are Aotearoa

We are, we are, forever.

 

Well done, New Zealand and the All Whites!

Hibern… Zzzzz

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Study week? Not good.

As of today, I have not been outside my flat for 3 whole days. It might not seem that long to you, but to me it’s like I’ve been inside for three months instead of three days. I think I might be losing my mind, wandering about the tiny space of the apartment singing at the top of my voice and probably scaring the neighbours. Not to mention that daylight hurts my eyes more than sunlight hurts the skin of those good old-fashioned vampires that don’t sparkle. My curtains remain closed throughout the day, and all I do is sit on my bed with a cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate with my eyes glued to the computer screen.

I think it might have been on Saturday that I was starting to wonder why my eyes were so red and sore, and I just felt like sleeping all the time. After two more days of the same agony I was getting severely frustrated with this problem, because it just gave me another reason to ignore what I was supposed to be doing, which was to study for my exam and to write an essay. That evening I had a minor epiphany. I just need to mention at this point that it had been raining for a good week or so when this happened, and all of a sudden I realised that, 'Hello, I’m allergic to dust mites', and the allergy is only really a hassle during the winter months and when the humidity is extra high. So, problem solved. I downed one of my allergy pills and, just like that, my vision improved and I could stay awake for a whole day again. Sweet as.

But being able to stay awake was also a bad thing. You see, I stay up really late every night, attempting to work on my essay after I’ve spent most of the day putting it off and then, when it’s really time to go to sleep, I feel bad about not having done anything that day, and write a couple of words on my essay draft before going to bed. And when I’m finally under the sheets, I open Harry Potter and begin to read. Good idea, right? To try to right my wrongs I’ve been setting my alarm to 9am every morning, only to hit the snooze button innumerable times before finally turning it off, and then waking up much later on just to discover that it’s half past 11. This has been happening every day for about a week now, and this morning I surpassed myself. I was all set to have an early rise, but then the same thing happened: snooze x infinite, turn it off, go back to sleep, wake up – ten to twelve?!? Whoa… I then had a thought that it was lucky that my meeting with the people who run the flat I’m moving to in just over a week’s time is tomorrow and not today, because I wouldn’t be able to even get down to their offices in ten minutes, let alone get dressed and presentable first. I then proceeded to get up, make coffee and settle down with my computer, when my cellphone rang… I quickly recognised the number – it was the rental company. I looked at the time and saw that it was 12.20pm, then tentatively picked up the phone and answered it. After the hello’s, the guy at the other end reminded me of a meeting that was scheduled for today at noon about the room at 9 Vogel St, and my heart sank. I was pretty confident that he said Thursday when we scheduled the meeting last week, but I just apologised and told him that I had put the meeting down on Thursday for some reason… So he asked me if I was available at the same time tomorrow, which of course I am, because that’s when I imagined the meeting to be in the first place. Phew, is all I can say. Although I’m still rather embarrassed and feel stupid for making such a blatant mistake.

So what I seem to be doing during study week is sleep and eat. Whenever I attempt to do something productive, my eyelids grow heavy and not even all the coffee in Wellington would be able to keep me on the right track. And now I’m just dying to go for a run or a walk, but I know that if I leave the flat I will easily stay outside for several hours and waste away another day. But today I WILL work on my essay. I can feel it. Maybe it’s the sun that does it. We’ve had sh*t weather for ages now, and seeing some blue sky really motivates me, for some reason. So off I go, to write my last Media101 essay.

It’s going to be awesome.

What’s buggin' ya?

10 reasons why it’s awesome having a cold/the flu:

10. It’s the only valid reason for a person like me to stay in bed ALL day long.

9. This time spent in bed is a great excuse to watch The Lord of the Rings and/or read Harry Potter (yes, I have in fact done both today).

8. I can have as many hot drinks - be it tea, coffee or hot chocolate – as I like, without feeling I don’t deserve it.

7. If any of the people around me care about me, they generally feel sorry for me. No more ADD.

6. It’s OK to eat a lot (of junk food), because of course the body needs all the strength it can get in order for it to defeat the bug.

5. When I begin to recover, it’s like being re-born. Never have I felt better.

4. If I for some reason have to leave the safety of my room and venture outside the house and walk amongst other people (which in fact I do need to do tomorrow, to get more milk), the coughing and sneezing is a great way to make people move out of my way.

3. I don’t feel bad about not studying for my exam. For goodness sake, I’m sick!

2. I feel accomplished for being able to perform the smallest act, such as going to the toilet.

1. I could basically prepare and consume the strongest curry the world has ever seen, and possibly detect only a faint hint of spices.

If you took me seriously on this one, you’re stupid.

I hate being sick.