Not amused

Really, I’m considering going back to Facebook. Not because I miss it or feel like I need to catch up with everyone. No, I need to find a way to temporarily stem this flow of creativity.

At the moment I come up with at least one original concept for a film every single day, each completely different from the other and with a complete story outline. Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely thrilled to know that I can be this creative, but it has revealed itself to me at such a bad time! I’m desperately trying to read a couple of hundred pages of philosophy every day, and I CAN’T GET THE STORIES OUT OF MY HEAD. It’s infuriating. If only I could keep it all bottled up somehow for another 4 days, and then release it, I would be stuck by the computer writing steadily for a couple of months.

At the moment I’m reading “Imagination and the Aesthetic Appreciation of Nature” by Emily Brady, and I’ve just read 5 lines in a paragraph on the third page about 60 times while in my mind I’ve been developing the latest story that appeared out of nowhere. It became so distracting that I had to pull out a notebook and quickly write something down, because it was the only outlet I could think of. Two words: Bad idea. Now I really can’t stop thinking about it, even after I filled two pages in the notebook in the equal number of minutes.

I’m desperately trying to focus on reading about how and why we should (or should we?) aesthetically appreciate nature – and I do find it interesting, really – but my mind is like an explotion of ideas at the moment, and no matter how hard I try to rein it in, it’s not working. Knuckling my forehead doesn’t help. Music doesn’t help. Writing notes doesn’t help. Telling my brain to focus certainly doesn’t help. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!?

I do apologise for this seemingly desperate and slightly (OK, more than slightly) hysterical post, but I’m at a complete loss as to what to do. I cannot stress enough how important it is for me to study for this exam, and I’m quickly running out of time.

At least I know now that as long as I stay off Facebook, I’ll have no trouble making a living as a writer of some kind. The stories are coming at me at such an overwhelming rate it feels like I’m drowning in a world that isn’t even mine. I need a quiet place where it’s just me and something to write on/with, and I’ll produce anything you like. MY GOD, my head is about to explode.

Help.